“Lifting Up the Source of Life”

by Bruce J. Johnson

March 30, 2003

 

A number of years ago now, a beloved member of our congregation, Prall Merriam, gave me a reading that has remained one of my favorites:

 

“Youth is not a time of life, but a state of mind. It is the freshness of the deep springs of life. No one grows old merely living a number of years. People grow old by deserting their ideals. Whether 60 or 16, every human being may experience wonder--- the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing appetite for the future, the joy in living. For you are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your despair. As long as your heart receives messages of beauty, love, cheer, courage and power from God and from your fellow man, you are young.”

            (Discovered by Heather McMillan in the bookshop at Norwich Cathedral in England, quoted in Quaker Monthly, October 1990.)

 

As the years pass, I am concerned about getting old--- not because of the inexorable march of the years but because there times in our lives when the threat the world poses to the spirit is formidable, threatening to close it off or shut it down.

 

I want it to be as Emily Dickinson wrote in one of her letters:

“We turn not older with years but newer every day.”

 

It is perhaps one of the greatest challenges in life—a life that we so proverbial say “ages us”--- that we be ‘newer’ every day.

 

Every time I read the story of Nicodemus, a new challenge is issued:

When Nicodemus, an old man and a Pharisee, approached Jesus under the cover of night, he comes as an esteemed, knowledgeable ‘leader of Israel.’ Nicodemus begins by self-assuredly speaking of what ‘we know.’ Mature, experienced educated people tend to be full of what they know or at least, assuredly think they know. Then, in the conversation with Jesus, he is quickly moved to a series of questions. “How can this be?” is his repeated refrain. Jesus is taking the self-assured teacher into a whole new realm of possibility, a new way of thinking, of construing the world and defining life.

 

I read a great quote the other day by a New Zealand writer, Sylvia Ashton-Warner:

            “Truth has beauty, power and necessity.”

I wonder if Nicodemus, though asking “How can this be?’--- knew that there was something beautiful and powerful and most important of all, necessary about the truth that Jesus was telling? A truth about God and God’s love, about Himself and his sacrifice and about us.

 

Here was his question:

 “How can anyone be born after having grown old?”

Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?

 

It is a good question, an inquiry into the possibility of starting over, becoming fresh, new and changed. It’s a curious question for an old man, or maybe it is the only question that aging men and women like us should ever really ask. How is it possible to start over, to be youthful again, to step up and out of the old stuff that has you feeling stuck and stale rather than free, looking back rather than looking forward?

Nicodemus came to Jesus that night --- knowing what he has known for a long time--- but knowing too that there was something more, something new, something necessary and something renewing.

 

The Seeker’s Bible Study gave me a gift certificate for Border’s Books for my birthday. I purchased Rachel Naomi Remen’s second book titled: My Grandfather’s Blessings: stories of strength, refuge and belonging.

 (copyright, 2000)

 

The following is one of her wonderful reflections:

“Knowing Life”

 

One of the things that I have learned since my medical training is that it is possible to study life for many years without knowing life at all.  Often things happen that science can’t explain.  Many very important things cannot be measured, but only observed, witnessed, and ultimately trusted.  Life may not be limited by the facts.  Science defines life in its own way, but perhaps life is larger than science.

A friend of mine, director of research at a nonprofit institute, had become interested in spontaneous remission of cancer.  As his interest became more widely known, people would call or write him to tell him their stories of unexplained recovery from serious illness.  One of these was a young man who claimed to have had a spontaneous healing from a dire form of bone cancer called osteogenic sarcoma.

He had been diagnosed many years ago as a college student.  Noticing a hard lump in his right thigh, he had gone to see a doctor.  A biopsy had confirmed the doctor’s suspicion of cancer, and he and his parents had been called to a meeting.  Sadly, the doctor told them of his findings and strongly recommended that he have his right leg amputated at the hip.  He was nineteen years old.  Despite the urging of several doctors and his parents, he had refused this surgery and had gone home to his parents’ farm without any treatment to live out his life.  Nothing further had been done for him except that the pastor of his church had asked those people who were so moved to pray for him at seven o’clock every night.  People prayed for two years.  Over time, the mass in his thigh had simply grown smaller and finally disappeared.

My friend was captivated by this story.  Through his work he had developed a researcher’s healthy skepticism, but the man seemed so genuine and matter-of-fact that he could not get the story out of his mind.  Finally he called to ask a favor.  Would I mind trying to track down the doctor who had made the original diagnosis and see if he would confirm this story or if he had kept medical records or a biopsy report?  "How long has it been?” I asked. “Twenty years,” said my friend ruefully. I started to express my doubts, but my friend interrupted. “Please try,” he said. And so I did.

It turned out to be easy.  The doctor, a relatively young man at the time he treated this patient, was listed in his state’s medical association and still in practice.  Encouraged, I called and got him on the phone.  After the usual introduction, I told him that I was calling to see if he had kept the medical records on a former patient.  It was so long ago that I doubted he would remember, and then I told him the man’s name.  His response was immediate.  “Of course I remember him,” he said with feelings. “I’ve thought of him many times over the years.  What a senseless tragedy.  Are you calling on behalf of the family?”

“No,” I replied, and told him that the man was still alive.  “Thank God,” he said. “Where did he have his surgery?”

“He didn’t have surgery,” I replied.  There was a pause.  When he spoke again, I could detect a change in his voice.  “Then what happened?” he asked. So I told him the story as it had been told to me.  There was a long silence and then, without another word, he hung up the phone.  I called him several times afterward, but he never returned my calls.

Most of us encounter a great deal more Mystery than we are willing to experience.  Sometimes knowing life requires us to suspend disbelief, to recognize that all our hard-won knowledge may only be provisional and the world may be quite different than we believe it to be.  This can be very stressful, even frightening.  But if we are not willing to wonder, we may have to hang up the phone on life.
  

 

Indeed, when Nicodemus came to Jesus under the cover of night is was surely showing his willingness to wonder and to take the risk of seeking out Jesus and asking the necessary questions—not hanging up the phone on life.

 

Frederick Buechner, in his book Listening to your Life talks about what he thinks is the meaning of the strange parable that Jesus tells about the man who gets caught without food in the fridge by an unexpected guest. No stores are open and the guest is hungry. So you go to the house of a friend to borrow some food. ‘Don’t bother me, the friend says, The door is locked, the lights are out, the kids are in bed and everyone, except me, is asleep! Go home! But you keep on pestering him until he finally gets up and gives you what you need. Then Jesus adds: “For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks finds and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

                                                                                  (Luke 11: 5-13)

And his point seems to be that that the secret of prayer specifically and the life of faith generally is in the persistent seeking--- finding out what is so beautiful and powerful and necessary about this truth that God is revealing in Jesus, specifically on the cross.

 

Buechner says that Jesus is saying simply that we have to keep at it, keep speaking into the darkness and even if nothing comes, speak again and then again. And finally the answer is given.

It may not be the answer that we want --- the kind of stop gap peace, the kind of easy security, the kind of end to loneliness that we are apt to pray for. Christ never promises peace in the sense of no more struggle and suffering. Instead he helps us to struggle and suffer as he did, in love and for one another. Christ does not give us security in the sense of something in this world such as some cause or some principle or some value, which is forever. Instead he tells us that there is nothing in this world that is forever. All flesh is grass. He does not promise us unlonely lives. His own life speaks loud of how, in a world where there is sometimes so little love, love is always lonely. Instead of all these, the answer that he gives, I think, is himself. If we go to him for anything else, he may send us away empty or he may not. But if you go to him for himself, I believe that we go away with the deepest of all our hungers filled, our wounds healed, our insecurities addressed, our hopes not dashed and our love not disappointed.

                                                        (Pulpit Resource, Vol. 31, No.1, p.36)

 

In today’s lesson from the gospel according to John, Jesus actually cites this morning’s passage from the book of Numbers (Numbers 21: 4-9), the story of Moses and the fiery serpents. You will remember that Moses said to the people that although the fiery serpents still prowled the land and were biting people, those who were bitten need only look upon the bronze figure of the serpent on the post and they would live. God’s forgiveness endures and gives life!

 

Well, Jesus too was saying that all we need to do is to look upon the cross that is lifted up and we will know the measure of God’s love and in that measure, the fresh new life that is its gift.

 

Now, we may ask, as Nicodemus did, how can this be? But the answer is clear: “Because God so loves the world…”

 

So, today, we lift high that cross ---the source of new life in our midst. In receiving it and the blessings of the Spirit we are born anew in God’s grace.

                                                                                   Amen