July 2, 2006

Coventry

Mark 5:21-43

2 Samuel 1:1, 17-

 

Declaration of Dependence

By Leslie Kennard

 

            We’ve been praying these past weeks for my close friend, Mary Ellen, who had a horrible horseback riding accident.  When I first visited her in the hospital, she was in so much pain that even with her morphine she was afraid to move or even breathe.  I’m talking here about our own Mary Ellen! Who bungee jumps and who scuba dives (who scuba dives in underwater caves).  A middle school teacher! Mary Ellen - who looks death in the face and LAUGHS!  Mary Ellen has in many ways seemed bigger than life itself, and to see her so frail and broken shook me to the core.

            I wanted to wave a magic wand and fix all her broken parts and make her better, to turn her back into herself again, Mary Ellen the Intrepid.  But all I could do was sit with her, and pray.  The Prayers I offered didn’t seem like anything at all during those hours.  But prayer was all I had to give her.

            Meanwhile, at home I was still trying to make the annual transition from Storrs to our cottage at the lake in Dayville.  This entailed daily trips to mow the lawn, get the mail, go to physical therapy and occupational therapy, do the laundry and pick up yet another car full of thing’s we’d forgotten.  I was doing way too much driving, juggling way too many balls, and one day I came home from Mary Ellen’s, carrying a laundry basket and with grocery bags piled on top of the clean clothes, a plastic bag with the week’s mail in one hand and only God knows what in the other, and I struggled into the cottage thinking I’d drop my load and take a deep breath, but I took one look at my husband and I knew his heart was once again doing the Devil’s tap dance.

            Normally I’m calm in a crisis, but that day I fell apart.  I cried and cried. I haven’t cried that hard in 30 years.  When I finally stopped, I retreated to the bedroom, picked up my Bible, and without thinking, turned to the scripture passages for today.  I read in Samuel that David has just learned his best friend has been killed--that scripture was a little close to home–and I read the poignant elegy he wrote.  David’s own grief swallowed me like a tidal wave, and I groaned in complete desperation, “Jesus, Help me!”

            And immediately I felt calm and strong and was able to focus on what I needed to do next.  I am always amazed when this happens.  Not amazed that Jesus helps me.  Amazed that I have to crash and burn and go splat before I ask for help from the Risen Christ.  I had been praying for Mary Ellen and for Bill and for a whole list of people who are hurting.  But I’m from New England and I don’t ask for help for myself.  I’m independent.  Whatever the job is, I can do it myself.

             If you are self-sufficient and independent like I am, the passage from Mark has something to say to us.  Have you ever noticed in the New Testament that when people are really hurting, when they are in huge pain, when fear paralyzes them, they abandon their pride and self respect, they abandon their rational efforts at independence, and for just one moment they throw their fortunes with the man from Galilee? In today’s Gospel lesson, the head of the temple–the same temple that repeatedly throws Jesus out, the same temple that tries to run Jesus off a cliff, the same temple that wants to kill him for his heresy–the head of this very temple throws away his job, his status, his preconceptions about Jesus the unbalanced troublemaker. He’s in the middle of a large crowd, and in front of all these people, he “fell at (Jesus’) feet and pleaded earnestly with him,” (Mk 5:23) Jesus!  Help me! My daughter is dying!

            The crowd became more restless, each person urgent with his or her own need, pressing and pushing toward Jesus.  And among them is a woman who has been sick for years with a hemorrhage. She’s been to Yale and UConn and Brigham and Women’s and Mass General and the Cleveland Clinics.  She’s been tested and examined and talked to and talked about.  She’s had pills and patches and x-rays and surgery and chemo and homeopathy and chiropractic.  You name it, she’s had it–poked and prodded and poisoned–and then she heard about Jesus. She had just planned to come and see him.  She’s unclean and if she touches him she’ll make him unclean.  But suddenly she’s overcome, and in her desperation she reaches out for him. She elbows her way through the crowd, grunting and pushing, but, weak and trembling from her loss of blood, from the heat and the crowd, she becomes lightheaded and starts to faint.  She knows she’ll never get to him. As she sinks to the ground, she makes one last effort to reach him and her fingertips snag the hem of his robe.  And that’s all it took.  She was healed.  Jesus turned and said, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.” And shortly afterward, Jesus turned to the leader of the synagogue and said, “Don’t be afraid: just believe,” (Mk.5:36) and we read a few verses later that his daughter was healed. 

            There are many, many stories like these throughout the New Testament.  The events that we call miracles sometimes happen to people who are normally strong, intelligent, sensible people like the leader of the temple; sometimes they happen to poor people who can’t seem to get anywhere but down like the woman with the hemorrhage. Sometimes miracles happen to people who have lost their way, sometimes miracles to caring people; sometimes to people who couldn’t care less.  Sometimes to rich people, sometimes to people whose lives are filled with faith and sometimes to people who would LIKE to be faithful but who haven’t been able to make the time for regular prayer and study.  But one thing these people all have in common is that for one desperate moment, they cry out passionately with all of their being to God. This is a fleeting, now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t extreme moment of faith during which those who cry out are totally dependent–totally dependent--upon Jesus. For one fleeting moment they believe absolutely and totally in Jesus.  Their faith is not a studied, rational faith: their faith is sudden and for that one moment, faith in Jesus is all they know.  Their plea communicates that they believe with every ounce of being.  In short, people who are normally more or less independent, become–for just one moment–totally and completely dependent upon the ONLY One whose help really makes a difference.

            So I stand here this morning, telling you about moments of dependence as we all get ready to celebrate the Independence of our nation, not because I’m contrary, but because as I stand here this morning, I myself am already back to acting as if I can function independently.  Whatever you need done, if I can’t do it myself, I can find someone who can do it.  And whatever is going on in my life, I can handle it.  Thanks.   I’m rational, thoughtful, and while I’m not quick of wit, you can generally count on me in a pinch. Sometimes I think I’m faithful and I’m not; and sometimes I’m unthinkingly faithful.  Meanwhile, Bill’s heart converted to a normal rhythm on Thursday and he’s enjoying a visit from his daughter this morning.  Mary Ellen, who had vowed from her hospital bed to buy a body protector to wear in the future when she rides her horse, lay on her couch last week and told the visiting nurse and the physical therapist very firmly that she has no intention of wearing a body protector when she gallops her horse through the rocky New England woods, probably within a month or so.  The leader of the temple is back at work and his daughter is enjoying her summer vacation. The woman with the hemorrhage is in a rocking chair on her porch reading to the grandchildren she thought she’d never live to see.

            These moments of total dependence are so quick that one might think they had never occurred, or that maybe they occurred but that they haven’t made any difference at all.  But those of us who have been stopped in our tracks by our need--and by Jesus’ help–know that it is our dependence, and not our independence that makes all the difference in our lives, and in our church, and in our world. 

            Before we leave worship to begin preparing our picnics and barbecues for Tuesday’s celebration of our independence as a nation, let’s take a moment to gather at the table where we once again, with great joy and celebration, declare our dependence upon the Risen Christ with a simple meal of bread and juice. If I had to choose between the barbecue and the morsel of bread and thimble of juice, I would choose the bread and juice, because here I receive bread that fills me in a way that even the very best potato salad never will, and juice that enlivens my faith in a way that neither Coke nor Pepsi can claim.  Will you join me at the feast of life?